Sunday, March 30, 2008

Ten Things I Didn't Know About Julius Caesar

I'm out of practice with this, what with St. Patrick's Day and Easter falling on these past two consecutive weekends. Plus I read half of this play, then put it down for a week while a friend was visiting, and then read the rest. So I'm not as on top of it as I have been with the others (ha!), and therefore I've determined that the best approach is to phone it in and move on.

Herewith:

Ten Things I Didn't Know About Julius Caesar

1. It's not over when he dies.

2. "Friends, Romans, countrymen etc." is not spoken by Caesar -- which ought to have been obvious, considering the next line about burying the bastard.

3. It's spoken by Mark Antony. And yet still, for some reason, Shakespeare sees fit to give him his own whole separate play. I'll read it next, and it better be worth it. I mean, "Kiss my grits!" was funny and all, but nobody needed to see Flo.

4. Brutus did not act alone.

5. Though he takes most of the blame. Which is only fair, considering he did the actual stabbing.

6. And also, therefore, he croaks it in the end.

7. Kills himself, actually, by falling on his sword. Except he didn't really -- he made somebody hold the sword for him because he knew he didn't have the balls. But that guy gets to cry Nuremberg, seeing as how he's just a slave.

8. Hey! I knew that last one! I remember it from seventh grade!

9. If you insist on calling yourself a poet, at least don't share your name with a famous conspirator/assassin.

10. Because angry mobs don't always ask to see ID.

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